Legacy

I thought a lot about my mom this weekend. The things that I remember and miss the most are the inadvertent things that she would do. I sometimes wonder what will Alex remember 30 years from now – will he remember the times I lost my temper – will he remember the lessons I’ve tried to teach him – will he remember how I read to him every night before bed like those parenting books suggested?

What do I remember about my mom?

I remember her laugh. It was loud and as a teenager, I was mortified because you could tell when she was in the building by her laugh. I would ask her to “laugh quietly” – which I do believed just enticed her to laugh ever more carelessly and jubilantly. I miss that about her.

I remember how she never gossiped. She would never speak up when someone else was gossiping (unless it was me or one of my siblings partaking in the gossip session) but she would never join in and never repeat gossip, even when she was asked. She just sat quietly and remained indifferent about things. When asked, she would just shrug her shoulders and say we all have short comings and that was it – nothing more.

Her smell. My mom was allergic to almost every brand of make-up, jewelry, and perfumes. It was like her body completely rejected anything materialistic or worldly. She always had a sweet smell though – usually of food since she spent a lot of time cooking, but it was warm and comforting. When I smell baked bread or other goodies, I immediately see her face.

I remember how tearing eyed she would get when she heard a gospel song. When we rolled into that four-piece harmony on Sunday mornings, my mom was almost guaranteed to have to get out a Kleenex. Again, as a teen, I would practically crawl under the pews when I would hear her blow her nose over “The Old Rugged Cross”. Now, I admire her relationship with God and her absolute love for Jesus. Gospel music spoke to her heart and brought her to tears every Sunday.

There are other things that I miss about her – but they are all things that she never tried to “teach” us – they are just things that made her special without her even knowing.