Reminders

This is my best friend Stephanie with Alex


Steph and I chat a few times throughout the day via email since we live 250 miles apart. Alex and I had so many errands to run on Tuesday night and he didn't fall asleep until 10:30 - his normal bedtime is 8:00 and he is out by 8:30 so needless to say, Wednesday morning was not pretty. I began wondering what I could get on eBay for the 4-footer.

While talking to Steph about our awful morning, I made a comment regarding her sister (who is pregnant) taking my Alex in for awhile rather than having a new baby. We chuckled about it and went on with our day. A few hours later, she e-mailed me and said that her sister needs my prayers urgently. She was rushed off to the hospital but Steph did not have anymore information beyond that. Later that afternoon, she lost her baby. The comment I made earlier ran through my head for the rest of the day. Of course I didn't mean it, but Stephanie's sister baby reminded me of how precious life is and how fortunate I am to have a healthy kid who is strong enough to test my patience.

We arrived home last night, had McDonald's so there were no dishes to do, left the laundry piled in the basement, left the vacuum in the closet and just played monopoly, read, and watched an episode of Scooby Doo. Saying our prayers and tucking him in last night gave my goosebumps and I hugged him for a few minutes longer than I normally would. I know that he will continue to test me and I will probably loose my cool again, but I won't forget the blessing that he is to my life.

My Barometer

I can tell when my life has been a little too chaotic by the way my son acts. He is my little barometer. Sometimes I think it's normal, but then at times I wonder why he is so sensitive to my emotions. If I'm okay, he is okay but if I get stressed or have a "blue day" (which doesn't happen often, but come on, I live in SD where the ground and the sky is the same color this time of the year). He will start to act out and behave ways that makes me wait for his little head to spin in a 360 degree turn.

Shouldn't it work the opposite way? You know, when you're having a down day, your kid is supper well behaved and when you're up for the challenge of wrestling the 4-foot terror, he can act out and test those boundaries. Is everyone’s child like this? No doubt that Alex is a little more anxious than other children which is more than likely because of the insecurities that comes with the tension that he must have felt in the house when I was still married to his father. He has no vivid memories of the abuse, but I know that his little sensors were keenly aware of when his mom was safe and not so safe.

Perhaps I read too much into situations, but I know that Alex reads every emotion I feel and sometimes it's incredibly frustrating. He is like a four-foot mood ring!

Homesick?

Alex: Mom, when are we moving back?

Mom: Back where?

Alex: Back to the Mall of America

I've Created A Monster!

When Alex and I were at the hospital with my brother this past weekend, he grined at one of the nurses and she giggled and smiled back. Alex looks at me and....quote...

"Aren’t I the master of cuteness?"

ER Fun

We had a pretty interesting weekend. Friday night, my baby brother Josh who is only a baby at a whopping 20-years of age, was reaching under the seat of his blazer when his pellet gun went off and he shot himself in the hand. The pellet was lodged in his finger so we took him into the ER but unfortunately it was so deep in the muscle, the doctor couldn't remove the pellet. We had to take him to a bone doctor (whatever that is) on Monday. It's swollen and icky looking (sorry to get so technical) but he'll survive. I drove him to the bone doctor yesterday and we waited for about 20 minutes before we were able to see him. He escorted us in the room, looked at his hand and said; yes...we need to remove it. Ummm...okay. thanks for that I thought. Josh has an appointment scheduled today to officially have the pellet removed. Times like this I really do miss my mom. I did run through a quick gun safety course with Josh hoping to avoid anymore bullet wounds. He is a hunter/fishing person so I was really surprised that he was so careless with a pellet gun. I am going to get some bulletproof gear to wear the next time I enter his apartment in case any firearms are hanging around without the safety.

Alex is also going through his seasonal asthmatic routine. We were up most of the night on Sunday with that heavy cough. He is taking Advair for it which really does help but I always feel so bad for his little body when I watch it working so hard to breath regularly.

I guess this post really is a whine session for me but man do I feel better.