Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ice Cream You Scream We All Scream For Ice Cream


Last night at the grocery store -

Alex: Mom, can we get some ice cream?
Mom: Sure, you can pick which flavor you would like

Alex of course picks chocolate chocolate chip

Alex: Mom, can we get some chocolate syrup to put on the ice cream?
Mom: Alex, you don't need chocolate syrup on chocolate chocolate chip ice cream
Alex: But Mom....I'm on a diet!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Boot Saga

I found a cute pair of boots in the Victoria Secrets clearance catalogue and to make the situation more appealing...I had a $30.00 gift card to use! Wahoo! After the coupon and shipping, the boots were $14.99. I couldn't make the purchase on-line, however, so I called the VS ordering center. After placing my order, the woman excitedly informs me that for every sweater purchase made today, I get a free Victoria Secrets lip gloss kit that has all of their fabulous shimmering lip gloss. I wasn't in the market for a new sweater, but come on...free lip gloss??? I search the catalogue for the cheapest sweater and found one for $14.99.

Then the gal tells me that if I just spend $6.00 more, I get free shipping. Well, okay I thought. I love their "Super Model Hair Gel" so I'll order some of those totalling $12.00. So I started off with just boots and now I have ordered a sweater, lip gloss, and hair gel that I really didn't need.

The next week I arrive home to find a small package from Victoria Secrets. Too small to fit my boots in I thought but I eagerly ripped the package open anyway. It's my sweater. Cute...but where are my boots?

A few more days pass and another package arrives. It's my lip gloss! Cute...but where are my boots.

An entire week goes by. Every day I'm checking my mail for my boots but am disappointed to find the UPS man drive past my home. I found myself even running home for lunch just to see if Mr. UPS dropped my boots off. I was growing suspicious that he may have seen just how cute they were and snapped them for himself. Finally, a package came!!!! Alex was requesting my help in the other room, but I was too busy ripping open my package to attend to his request. My hair gel arrived. Where are my boots? Wait..there is a small piece of paper on the bottom. What does it say? "Ms. X, we regret to inform you that the boots you ordered are currently out of stock and will no longer be available".

Oh no you did't!!!! I bought a sweater and hair gel on an impulse when all I wanted were my darn boots! Stomping around like a five-year-old, I wanted whoever received MY boots to give them back!

Wait...there is a happy ending. I called VS and explained my displeasement of using my gift card on items that I had no intention on using it for. The very sweet girl on the other end of the phone reissued me another gift card and i found an even cutter pair of Snow Leopard Stiletto Boots which are WAY MORE FUN then the boring old black ones anyway.

Friday, December 7, 2007

The Left Hook

This parenting thing isn't for the weak that is for sure!! I receive an e-mail from Alex's teacher yesterday saying that Alex had an issue on the playground. The kids formed a line and were taking turns with a soccer ball and when became Alex's turn, a kid...let's call him Bob slapped the ball from his hands. What did Alex do?? He punched him in the arm with his fist! I have never seen him react like that so I was stunned....and angry. I drive down to the school and his teacher was in a meeting. The kids were finishing up their art projects (it was the end of the school day) and the minute Alex saw me, he sunk so low in his chair. He came out into the hallway and here is the conversation

Alex - (sobbing uncontrollably) Mom, I got in trouble
Mom - Alex, you need to calm down and tell mom what happened
Alex - (still sobbing) Bob took the ball from me and I punched him and I had to come in from recess
Mom - Alex, how should we have handled the situation when Bob took the ball
Alex - I don't know....I'm a bully (still sobbing)
Mom - You're not a bully. Why did you punch him
Alex - I was frustrated
Mom - Okay, bully's hit kids for attention, you did it because you were frustrated. Lets figure out how we should deal with this the next time Bob slaps the ball from your hands.
Alex - Can I go home...I'm just going to get in trouble again (like he can't stop punching kids today?)

Anyway, he finally calmed down and went back to class. I talked to his teacher and she said it wasn't a HUGE deal so then I wondered if I overreacted which is something I have a tendency to do with him. Alex appoligized to Bob for punching him and I decided not to punish him any further. I wish there was a manual to help with these situations.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Santa Cat

Nothing spreads the Holiday joy like an angry black cat dressed in a Santa hat

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Happy Birthday Alexander!!!


Happy birthday to my kit kat!!!! Start up the band and lets get this party started! Alex turns 7 today! He was born at 10:29p.m. weighing 8lbs 1oz and a whopping 20.5 inches long. You were a magnificent baby and healthy...beautiful....I was blessed BEYOND what I could image. You needed a strong name...one that went with your strong personality. Alexander (defender of men) and Michael (Who is like God) was what your father and I chose. Both your first and your middle name fit your personality well.



You are growing every day, personality, intelligence, and physical growth. You are becoming your own person. You are sensitive and caring, but stubborn when you have your heart set. Your sense of humor is mature beyond your years and your compassion for animals is what I admire in you the most. For you, every bug...every stray cat....every dog has a place in your world (however, I would like to say once again...it can't be in your room)



I know that God has great plans for you Alex and remember to always trust in God and listen to your mom! I love you young grasshopper. Happy Birthday!!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Aunt Jean's Wedding

My family welcomed a new victim...I mean member to our family this weekend. Auntie Jean was married to a wonderful awesome man named Larry who we all love and adore. The had a beautiful ceremony followed by some romp roaring fun at the VFW for the dance. If there is one thing us Norwegians can do right, it's throw one heck of a party. No doubt that the Lord put us together because any other family probably would have thrown us out by now. For some reason, and nobody knows why, everyone was stuck on drinking Hams beer that night. I think it was started by someone saying what is the one beer you can find at a VFW but no other bar? Hams and PBR.



Aunt Jean and Uncle Larry with there kids


Jean, Larry, and my little Katelyn


My cousin LaTasha singing "God Bless The Broken Road" which was a song Jean dedicated to Larry


My cousin Sheila's daughter Katelyn


Alex soaking it all in


Aunt Jean with cousins Sheila and Jody


My cousin Heather and me


My cousin LaTasha, LaVonna, and me


Mom...I just won $50.00 on pull tabs!


Me with the BEAUTIFUL bride


So Cute!!


Alex hanging out at the VFW. All night he kept saying "mom...kids should not be here" He is destined for a career in some authority role


Cousin Dave and Heather and....HAMS!


Congratulations Jean and Larry! We love you!!!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Role Confusion


I think we have some role confusion in our house. Friday evening I tucked Alex into bed, read him a story, prayed with him, kissed him on the forehead and left the room. As I strolled into the kitchen to let the kitty outside, I noticed that it was snowing!

Jumping up and down, I yelled for Alex to quickly come to the window! Confused, and worried, Alex sprung out of bed to join me at the window.

Alex - "Mom, why did you want me to come to the kitchen"
Mom - "Alex, look....it's snowing!!!"
Alex - "You woke me up to tell me that?"

Monday, November 12, 2007

John The Man!!!!

What a great weekend! John Mellencamp has played 4 shows in the area near my home the past week and I was not going to miss at least one of his shows. I need to start of by saying that I've adored John Mellencamp since I started playing guitar. If you can get past the man's strong politics and see him for the awesome writer/entertainer that his is, I highly recommend going to one of his shows. He started playing bars and clubs at age 15 and much of his music is shaped from playing as a young man in a time where our country was very segregated. One of the musicians in his band was African American and Mellancamp watched him being glorified onstage and asked to leave the establishment as soon as the gig was over. Saturday night was not one of his better shows, but it was still phenomenal in my opinion. He seemed to be fitting a cold (or just suffering the effects of smoking 5 packs a day for the past 30 years) and actually did the farmers blow....you know...the one where the person just closes one of their nostrils and blows snot....before hitting the stage. GROSS!

After the concert, we stopped downtown for some drinks and then headed for some yummy eggs and pancakes at Denny's. I think I'm going to start warning my dates that I'm incredibly accident-prone. I reached in the booth behind us to grab and extra set of silverware because I need more than one napkin, but I obviously didn't hold onto the set tight enough because as I spun around in the booth, all of the forks, knives etc went flying at my date who was sitting across from me. Ug...poor guy. Who knew that taking me out could also raise your life insurance premiums.

Enjoy the clip....don't hesitate to get up and dance!


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Friday, November 2, 2007

Halloween

My young Jack Sparrow



Mom...enough with the pictures




Alex, come take a picture with mom





Okay Alex, mom will eat ALL OF YOUR LOOT if you don't take a nice picture




See how easy that was?

After only hitting a few houses, Alex says to me (with great excitement) "Mom - this is BY FAR my favorite holiday!!!" I looked at him and questioned "But what about Christmas" Alex thinks about it and says "You know what would be cool mom? It would be cool if we did Christmas presents like Halloween candy"

The wheels are always turning.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Nightmare

You know you're sleep deprived when you had a dream (nightmare) that you were dating Snoop Doggy Dog. Seriously - I woke up after having a dream that Snoop and I were going to Applebees for a date!!! Do you know how often I listen to Snoop? Answer is ZERO. Do you know how many times I think about Snoop? Answer again would be ZERO!! Do you know how many drugs I would seriously have to be on to ever even think about sitting down and having a conversation with Snoop? Answer....there isn't enough illegal substances in the WORLD that I would need to intake to even THINK about going out with that creature.

My goodness....I need a vacation!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Bless You eBay!!


Really - what did I do before on-line shopping was such lucrative part of my life? Although I love spending time walking around a mall, getting behind the lollygaggers, chasing after Alex, having to tell Alex no every time we pass one of the two-million gumball/candy dispensers at the mall, cruising around looking for a parking space, having to try and put the mannequin at Macy’s back together after Alex tipped her over, on-line shopping has made my life much easier.

This goes to selling my previously owned items as well. No more selling my textbooks back to the school for 1/5 of what I paid for them – no no no! Sell them on eBay. I had a winter coat of Alex’s marked at $1.00 on a garage sale this past summer and did it sell? NOPE! But, I got $15.00 for it off of craigslist. What to do with my ex-husband’s cloths? Some guy in Pennsylvania is now the proud owner of a lot of 10 New England Patriots shirts – congratulations. Cloths that have seemed to shrink after leaving them in my closet to long now belong to some woman in Arizona who obviously has a good sense of style :)

Ahhh – thank you on-line shopping world.

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Mind of a Boy



This morning at breakfast -

Mom...wouldn't it be weird if you peed starting last night and didn't finish until this morning

Thought provoking huh ~

Monday, October 1, 2007

Why I Love Raena-Roo

I was walking into church yesterday when Alex and Amber's daughters Shayla and Raena were walking out. I stopped and told Shayla how beautiful she looked in her new hair-cut and told Raena she looked like Dora. Alex wrapped his arms around me and I carried him into the church under my arm like a 65lb football. This is when my day went from a 7 to a 10! Amber yelled back at me to tell me what her observant, brilliant beyond her years younger daughter Raena said. "Mom, why is Alex's big sister carrying him into the church?" LOL - Alex's big sister!!

This is why I love Raena Roo.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Happy Friday

I received this clips in an e-mail and thought they were so wonderful! Enjoy and have a great weekend.



Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Whew

Amy is checking up on me so I thought I would post. Alex made me a birthday card last week that really shows the effect my parenting is having on him. On the front, it says "Mom Rocks" and has a DQ ice cream on the cover. In the inside, it has a paper pickle and the bottom has a picture of me in my car with the police following. His friend wrote "Amanda speeding" and "The Cops Chasing Amanda". Hmmm - wonder if his parents will ever let their son stay at our house after that one? I'll post a picture of the card tomorrow.

I had my first jewelry party this weekend. I've become an Independent Advisor for Lia Sophia (www.liasophia.com/amandalindner) and my girlfriend Steph hosted a party this past weekend in Minneapolis. It stunk and I hit two pheasants on the way to the cities. The bird was stuck in my grill the entire way there! I pulled into a gas station and gave my most pathetic girly look to the attendant and he did get the bird out for me. Pictures to come later....

My son made me very very proud yesterday. The school is doing a fundraiser for new playground equipment and for every 5 items they sell, they receive a dog tag. He sold enough to receive 3 tags and was so excited to get his third. However, he found out that another kid had lost his tag so Alex gave him his! It was such a generous offer and I know how hard he worked for that dog tag! I told him that I was so proud of him because it showed empathy and it takes a very strong little man to do something so unselfish. Ahhh - proud mommy moment.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Loosing My Mommy Card


If any of you had any respect for me before - get ready to loose it.

I had to run to Minneapolis this weekend but since Alex had a friend sleepover on Friday night, we didn't leave until early Saturday afternoon. I should have taken the interstate, but decided to take some backroads that force be to drive 55mph until I ready to vomit. So...given the late start and the agitation that we'd only been on the road for 60minutes and I was already hearing "are we there yet", it's probably needless to say but I had a heavy foot. I had just warmed my little Taurus up enough to where we were able to drive 70mph when I seen little Mr. Highway Patrol. Alex starts singing the Jr. Brown Song "Highway Patrol" (it goes...I got a star on my car and one on my chest) when I turn around to say "Alex, mom needs to to pretend that your sick". Yep....that's right...I asked my son to fake being sick so I had an excuse to why I was driving like a maniac! Wait - it doesn't stop at the request. I actually pinched his cheeks a bit to make him look flushed!!!! The officer was so nice and told me to slow it down and gave me a warning (which I think he would have even if I didn't have a flu-bitten child in the backseat) but owe the guilt.

This will buy him another 6-months on the coach.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Lets Bow Our Heads


For Today -

When someone at works stops me and say - hey, can you finish this project for me? Rather than saying "you lazy a*$#&(^ do it yourself" I'm going to pray

When my son whimpers or whines, rather than saying "you want me to give you something to whine about" I'm going to pray

When I get behind the driver who just loves to gaze out the window and check out the local neighborhood rather than the road in front of him/her, rather than saying "hey moron, why don't you try DRIVING or try getting the H*ll out of my way" I'm going to pray

When my ex husband calls and says "I'd really like to help you out with child support this month but I just can't", rather than saying "I'd really like to tie weights to the bottom of your ankles and then go on a boating trip" I'm going to pray.

When someone at class this evening starts a declarative sentence with "like" and then finishes with her voice going up as though it's a question, rather than saying "hey dumba**, GRAMMER 101 CALLED AND SAID THEY WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU" I'm going to pray.



So - If you see me and you think I'm sleeping, I'll be praying.

Monday, September 10, 2007

It's Monday

If you need to find me, I am going to be hanging by the cooler most of the day!


Sunday, September 9, 2007

Sing Along

It's here baby! Minnesota Football!!!!

SKOL VIKINGS!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Labor-Free Weekend


I hope you all had a great weekend! Alex was with his dad for the holiday weekend so I decided to get myself out of the house as well. I drove to the cities and ran like a maniac all weekend. We were suppose to leave on Friday, but conflicts arose and I wasn't able to leave until Saturday. My friend and I were going to go to the Twin's game but by the time we arrived they were already entering the 4th inning and the stop serving beer by the 7th so we went to Joe Sensor's to watch the rest of the game and grab a bite to eat. Visited family (not at the bar but at their house) and since we didn't go to the Twin's game, my friend thought he could manage to suffer through a few hours at the dome for the Gopher's football game. The Uof M has a new football coach so he was under a lot of pressure to do well....and TOTALLY BLEW IT! We arrived at the game, sat down, took a sip of my beer and what seemed like only a few seconds, the other team had already scored!!!! Yikes. However, Minnesota did rally in the 2nd half to make the game interesting, but Bowling Green scored on a 2-pt conversion in overtime. The Twin's game on Sunday stunk ever worse!!! But - we did have AWESOME seats so it's always a fun-filled day if I can sit up close and personal next to cute baseball players ;) Come on ladies....you know what I'm talking about here! Before we left, we went to the Renaissance Festival and had supper at the Wildfire before heading home.