I never wanted to date a guy with kids, but when I met Bruce’s kids, it just felt right. They’re GREAT kids and I love spending time with them. They’re wonderful with Alex and he thinks they're awesome as he now has three teenagers to play with. They’re older so I really don’t have to “parent” them as Bruce is a wonderful dad and as far as a moral compass, well their moral compass is set and they know what’s right and what’s wrong. Not to say they won't need guidance and advice, but I get to just support Bruce and be their friend. They've accepted me and I feel truly blessed to have three more wonderful kids in my life.
The relationship I wasn’t prepared for was that between their mom and me. When it comes to Alex’s fathers girlfriend, I’ve lucked out. She has been great and she treats Alex very well, but I remember my stomach sinking when Alex said that he likes when dads girlfriend is at the house because it’s like having a mom there. I had to bite my tongue and check my emotions. I wanted to shout – she’s not your mom and will never be your mom – I’m your mom and then call her and tell her to back off! It took my some time to accept that relationship – lots of prayers and lots of long runs thinking about how I felt as though I was being replaced. Then something occurred to me – the more people who are there to offer hugs and prayers for Alex, the better off he will be.
I’m the first woman Bruce’s kids have ever met and the first woman their mom has ever had to share her children with and that’s something I forgot. I came in and introduced myself to her, her family, and was my usually outgoing self. Their oldest son is graduating from high school this week and I offered to do a small slide show – which turned into a 20 minute slide show and I made copies for everyone in his and her family. Looking back, I must have seemed like an overachieving, in your face b**ch because it caused some hurt feelings on moms part. I had really good intentions, but maybe for now at least…I’m better in smaller doses.
2 comments:
You are a kind-hearted person to think of the mom's feelings as well as your own. I'm sure she appreciated it, even though she's a little hurt right now. If she was as kind to your son as you say she was, I would think her hurt will heal in a little bit.
Yes, take your time to get to know her.
Amanda- Sounds like you figured it out. I am so happy for you and Alex. It sounds like Bruce and his children are wonderful.
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